Training

It's not all fun and games around here all the time. I have really been struggling this week with patience, health and perspective.
Last weekend Everett started to get under the weather. It quickly went from a cloudy day to hurricane. The poor little guy suffered all week with teething, a fever, puking and many explosive diapers. Yep, the stomach flu. I came down with it on Wednesday. It came on so sudden that I thought I had food poisoning. Trinity's symptoms started on Thursday. I praise God for a husband with a flexible schedule and a mom who came to the rescue in the thick of it.
In the midst of all this, my suspected vertigo became worse and my doctor became concerned. So, weak from not eating, tired from not sleeping, I ushered myself to the neurologist who had nothing more to say other than she didn't seem to see anything unusual...but I might have a benign brain tumor. Thank you Doctor! I crawl to get an MRI to be caged for a half hour with a jack hammer blaring in my ear. Through the noise, the headache and sleep deprivation, I am bitter that I should be on my way to the airport to see my sister in Seattle and her kids for a nice vacation. (My doctor made me cancel my trip until we figure out my head problem. By that time, my OB will not let me fly because I will not be cleared to fly 6 weeks from my due date. No hope of rescheduling.) So, I pray since I thought of no better plan. It actually worked. I rattled off a list of concerns, hopes, needs and praises. The MRI went fast. As of right now I do not have the results of that phantom brain tumor.
This is all background information for my next set of trials: my darling children.
The last time I had an 18 month old, she was the only sparkle in my eye and I was not pregnant with Everett yet. The daily fiascoes were much more manageable. Now, I am 7.5 months pregnant with a over-tired, healing 4 year old and an over-tired and inpatient 18 month old.
Please note how hard it is to get around these days as the torpedo belly has full control over my body. During a particular hard day, I struggled to get the dishes done. As I was getting close, the phone rings. As I grab the phone, Everett grabs Trinity's uneaten lunch off the counter which happened to be a bowl of soup. I clean up the floor (hard to get down there) and yelled at Everett to get out of the kitchen! I thought it missed him but didn't check the bottom of his socks. I then noticed the soup footprints across my freshly cleaned floor. ugh!
So, today is Sunday. The kids haven't slept at night, we haven't slept at night. I decided to let Everett cry it out last night since he is now healthy and is simply used to be comforted at 2AM. So he cried, screamed and threw things in his crib for an hour last night until he finally settled back down to sleep all the while I am pleading, begging and arguing with God...and then wake up Eddie to join in the fun. Everett gets to bed and then Trinity wakes up at 4AM. Coughing, puking, crying....PLEASE Lord!!!
7AM: Everett crying. Milk, comfort, back to bed, no choice Mama and Daddy need it!
9AM: Everyone is up. We are feeling a bit better after that last shift of sleep.
Eddie rushes off to Palm Sunday service. I am feeling confident to handle the kiddos. Just then: crying, whining, grunting. I just need to run to the bathroom for 10 seconds!! Forget it, I go pee behind a locked door. What do I hear? EVERETT, NO!!!! Please, just 10 seconds people!!!!
Everett made Trinity mad about something, she made him mad. I try to settle her, he runs into the bathroom and goes right for the drawer with all the no-no things in it.
ME: Everett, NOOOO! Please just 10 seconds of peace!!!
These are my days, every day for the last week. I try to be patient, I try to understand they are both a bit off track due to illness and sleep. However, I also know that my reality of sibling conflict will never go away. At times, I think "what the heck am I thinking having X amount of children?" But mostly I am reminded, not only of how hard of a job this multiple kids thing is, but what a joy they are. Boundaries and sibling space is a must, as is mama space and it is not going to be easy to train each one of us. Training and discipline for all of us will be much easier with a good attitude and heart.
So, the point of all this is how incredibly blessed I am. I am reminded of how I fervently prayed to be in this exact position. I want 3+ kids, I want them pretty close together and I wanted happy and fun times. All these things I do have and I am grateful for God answering my prayers precisely how I prayed them. Now, I must keep perspective, and my patience. The joys far outweigh the juggling. And those crow's feet might just be because I am getting older, not because my children are causing fine lines on my face.
I hope I can document this time of my life and look back with tears of joy to be out of the thick of things as well as remember these exact moments of chaos, learning, balancing and training...of my heart.